Driving from St. Louis to Memphis via Sikeston, Song Titles coming to Mind

One of the fondest memories I have of my grandmom, yes, the one who had banana split for her birthday, is how much she loved Lambert’s Restaurant in Sikeston, Missouri. There have been times in my life where I stopped in Sikeston just to remember grandmom. Others where I stopped to buy her a trinket. Still others when I brought a crowd here to learn about cotton. But today’s trip is different.

And for some reason, when some guy who’s supposed to offer roadside assistance spends more time getting on your nerves by doing stupid things like suggesting leaving your GPS plugged in while you fill the tank killed the battery, well at those times the normal happiness of a hot roll flying through the air… that happiness is somewhat replaced by your wanting to start flinging stuff back at someone.

As I sent up a tweet and Facebook status the friendly comments and questions came that the company didn’t ask. Never did he ask if I was in a safe location, this despite the fact it was after dark and I was calling about car trouble. He never asked a lot of things so the rage built up for a bit. So rather than wait for the tow truck, I decided to take a nice long walk, get myself a bite for the restaurant that made throwed rolls famous.

Rather that do that, I decided to use my energy in a creative outlet by coming up with possible blues or country song titles. Here are some of the ones I came up with, I’d appreciate any additions you can offer too:

• After a Five Hour Meeting, A Dodge Caravan is a Welcome Sight
• Got the Rush Hour, Car Broken Down on 270, Construction Zone Blues
• My Oh My, The Tank is Getting Dry
• Sikeston is the Legendary Home of Throwed Rolls, But I’m Real Close to Throwing a Fit
• GPS is Powerful, that I Believe, But not Strong Enough to Drain a Battery in the Few Minutes I Leave
• Not Having Spirits Raised by Yeasty Rolls, Not Having It
• Working the Second Shift at Larry’s Pit Stop
• Here I Am, Stuck in a hotel Halfway to Memphis, Getting a Full on Case of the Blues
• My Niece Turned on a Computer at Home and Now I Appear to Be Talking to Myself
• Bummin’ Cause I Just Remembered I’ve Left my Moonalice Disc Behind
• Cotton Pickin’ Caravan Ain’t Cuttin’ It No More
• Everyone Thinks While I’m Here I Should Get Rolls But I Just Want to Get Rolling Down the Road
• Walkin the Rage Away
• Walkin Down the Road with a 20-pound Dinner To Go
• These to-go Rolls Don’t Throw Themselves
• Happiness is Taking a Tow Truck to the Drury on a Day Like This
• The Joy of a Throwed Roll is Lost on Me Tonight But Tweets & Facebook Comments Are Bringing It Back
• They Have No Cars Available And That Means I’m Staying, Lord Help The Rental Car Company if This Takes Very Long

Now seriously, the rental car experience has truly sucked. I didn’t mention that I had used fabric freshner before I left Memphis or that there were greasy finger prints on the visor and door. I’m absolutely annoyed and will be writing a clear letter to the company involved and to our travel folks with the company.

BUT ALL THE COMPLAINING ASIDE, THE FOLKS IN SIKESTON ARE FANTASTIC!!!!

Seriously, the girl working at Larry’s Pit Stop was so understanding. She was friendly, professional. After the walk to Lambert’s, I was okay a bit and as I waited, one of the waiters joked about something with me and I just looked and said, “Dude, I’m having a tough night. Rental car broken down and I should be on the road.” He actually named the company and wished me luck! The cashier, as she handed me my dinner said she hoped my night got better.

I returned to the car to wait for the service truck but the girl at Larry’s suggested I eat at a table inside where I’d be more comfortable. She went about her job and now and then made me laugh. Really nice.

The service truck guy (Satterfield’s was the company) was a bit confused why he had been told it was the battery when it clearly wasn’t (so was I by the way). He tried everything he could come up with and when I said I guessed I’d be staying, he offered to give me a lift to a local hotel. The girl at Larry’s said she understood I could do nothing and wished me well as I went along my way. And while I offered to pay for the taxi service, our friendly guy would have nothing of it.

Well folks, I’m going to see what else I can get into on my unexpected stay in Sikeston. There are two locations supposedly trying to find me a car and I bet the folks here at the hotel still have breakfast waiting for me downstairs.